Quick and Painful

Some short ones this time. Still just as inexcusably bad, but mercifully short.

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. This went on for about an hour, until the hotel manager finally came out of his office and asked them to disperse. "Why can't we stay here and talk?" asked one of them as they left the lobby. "Because," replied the hotel manager, "I can’t stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

A ship carrying blue paint collided with a ship carrying red paint. The crew are believed to be marooned.

Q: What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?
A: Make me one with everything.

Q: Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book?
A: They all have phones.

Quasimodo? Hmmm...yes, that name does ring a bell...